70/30

You know, since the beginning, Aliza has been a difficult baby. I mean really, she cried for 4 months straight. And there was nothing that would stop the crying.

I know we were talked about when we went places. What mom can’t calm down her own child?

ME!!

With this girl, NOTHING worked. I was embarrassed about it, all the time. Even around family. I was paranoid, nervous, uneasy, even panicky. If someone held her and cried, they of course, gave her back to her mother. But the crying didn’t stop. Even I didn’t know what to do. I went to the doctor and tried every little trick in the book.

After 4 months, it did finally stop and there was peace. And it’s nice, but for one thing.

The attachment.

To me.

I know I held her a lot during the 4 month crying phase, but I really tried not to. I even had to remind people that watched her to put her down and use the swing. It *usually* worked.

But now, I guess I am paying for it. This girl LOVES HER MAMA!! Which I absolutely love. I love it that I am the only person that she wants. She fits perfectly on my hip and that is where she is her happiest. With me. It fills me with a warm, happy sensation that only a child can give to their mother.

She will cry with anyone that holds her and will be straining to get to me.

When I say I love it, I really do. But when I step back and really look at the big picture, I would say that I 30% ABSOULTELY, NOT DOUBT ABOUT IT LOVE it and 70% NOT LOVE it. Because…my back hurts…and I am tired of being the ONLY one…I am worn out.

Jon laughs and says I am a magnet. She will find me – ANYWHERE! Now that she is an Ace crawler and pulling up like a Champ, I am never out of her reach. I’ve tried the “cry it out” thing, and I don’t have a problem letting my kids cry…if it serves a greater purpose. But, in Aliza’s case, I’m not sure it does. She will cry until she gets me no matter how long it takes. Even in the house, when we are in the SAME ROOM. I can be making lunch and she is at my feet crying and looking up at me until I am done and I have to pick her up to put her in her highchair. IT IS CRAZY, I TELL YOU!!

And she will cry until she gets her way (and her way is in my arms). It has been better since those 2 bottom teeth came out, but let’s face it. She wants her mama, all the time.

And I 30% LOVE IT, and 70% NOT LOVE IT.

and check out that ADORABLE dimple!! OMG – I am in LOVE!!