Bell's Palsy
I just updated my Facebook page with a post about my Bell's Palsy and it might be my last post. I wanted to save all my posts about it somewhere and thought this old blog might be a good place. Just in case I wanted to go back and relive it all one day. 😳😥
October 30, 2017
The last 24 hours have been challenging, to say the least. I woke up Sunday morning feeling a bit weird, and figuring out that I have Bell’s Palsy. I would not have known what was going on had it not been for a friend that had this many years ago.
It started Friday night. My neck and behind my ear was really sore and kept me up all night. I thought I just slept funny, was tired and a little stressed due to a busy weekend, so I ignored it. Then on Saturday, my lips were twitching a lot. Like they wouldn’t stop twitching, so much that it was a little alarming. Still, I ignored that. Saturday night my neck was hurting again and kept me up, and my tongue felt numb. I couldn’t sleep and when we got up in the morning, I saw my face. I knew what it was because of my friend having Bell’s Palsy. The entire left side of my face does not work. I told Jon and we headed to the after hours clinic, who confirmed the diagnosis. This paralysis of the face can last 2 weeks up to 2 months. There is not much to do other than wait it out. It is very uncomfortable, my speech is a bit slurred, my left eye doesn’t blink so I have to put drops in every few hours, and I just look weird.
So, if you see me, don’t be surprised if I don’t make a huge attempt at conversation, and if you don’t see me, don’t be surprised because I will be leaving the house as little as possible. I feel very self-conscious, and hope this goes away soon!
November 5, 2017
It's been one week since I woke up with Bell's Palsy. It's also been one of the most challenging weeks of my life. I was very down and stayed very close to home. There has been no change in my symptoms yet, and I have been in quite a bit of pain the last few days in my neck and behind my ear. I did some yoga this morning and it helped with the pain tremendously. I am still praying these symptoms subside after this week (usually, on the short end, Bell's palsy lasts about 2 weeks) and I can get back to normal soon. My eyesight is bad and keeping drops in is a pain.
Thank you to all of my family and friends who have been checking in on me, praying for me, helping with my kids, and been encouraging! Hearing from y'all has definitely helped!
November 19, 2017
Today is 3 weeks since I woke up with Bell’s palsy and what I️ keep hearing is that I need patience to get through this. I’m trying, really, really hard, but it is so hard to just hang in there. I have so many friends and family praying for me and checking in with me and I soooooo appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
We decided to get out of town and try to relax in nature, and it’s helping! Camping with my little fam is one of my most favorite things to do!
I wish I had good things to say when people call and text, but I only can update telling everyone it’s the same
😥. So keep up the prayers and positive thoughts coming my way if you can. I still need them
🙂.
November 29, 2017
😡. This time, she said, “Go see this person! You have Synkinesis and she can help you!” I almost hugged my doctor when she told me this
😊! Basically, synkinesis is the nerves growing back (the facial nerve died when I got Bells Palsy and is now growing back), but they are not working right. Which I knew, because my eye closes when I open my mouth, when I close my eyes, my cheek moves, and so on. It is just not all working together correctly. I didn’t what was going on, just that things are moving. I was sure she was going to say the same old – “wait”, but I am so excited to see will be another physical therapist to help muscles and nerves re-learn how to work together! Yay! I couldn’t get an appointment right away, but I will be starting soon. Send me those positive thoughts and prayers that this helps! Thank you!!
August 9, 2018
October 30, 2017
The last 24 hours have been challenging, to say the least. I woke up Sunday morning feeling a bit weird, and figuring out that I have Bell’s Palsy. I would not have known what was going on had it not been for a friend that had this many years ago.
It started Friday night. My neck and behind my ear was really sore and kept me up all night. I thought I just slept funny, was tired and a little stressed due to a busy weekend, so I ignored it. Then on Saturday, my lips were twitching a lot. Like they wouldn’t stop twitching, so much that it was a little alarming. Still, I ignored that. Saturday night my neck was hurting again and kept me up, and my tongue felt numb. I couldn’t sleep and when we got up in the morning, I saw my face. I knew what it was because of my friend having Bell’s Palsy. The entire left side of my face does not work. I told Jon and we headed to the after hours clinic, who confirmed the diagnosis. This paralysis of the face can last 2 weeks up to 2 months. There is not much to do other than wait it out. It is very uncomfortable, my speech is a bit slurred, my left eye doesn’t blink so I have to put drops in every few hours, and I just look weird.
So, if you see me, don’t be surprised if I don’t make a huge attempt at conversation, and if you don’t see me, don’t be surprised because I will be leaving the house as little as possible. I feel very self-conscious, and hope this goes away soon!
November 5, 2017
It's been one week since I woke up with Bell's Palsy. It's also been one of the most challenging weeks of my life. I was very down and stayed very close to home. There has been no change in my symptoms yet, and I have been in quite a bit of pain the last few days in my neck and behind my ear. I did some yoga this morning and it helped with the pain tremendously. I am still praying these symptoms subside after this week (usually, on the short end, Bell's palsy lasts about 2 weeks) and I can get back to normal soon. My eyesight is bad and keeping drops in is a pain.
Thank you to all of my family and friends who have been checking in on me, praying for me, helping with my kids, and been encouraging! Hearing from y'all has definitely helped!
November 19, 2017
Today is 3 weeks since I woke up with Bell’s palsy and what I️ keep hearing is that I need patience to get through this. I’m trying, really, really hard, but it is so hard to just hang in there. I have so many friends and family praying for me and checking in with me and I soooooo appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
We decided to get out of town and try to relax in nature, and it’s helping! Camping with my little fam is one of my most favorite things to do!
I wish I had good things to say when people call and text, but I only can update telling everyone it’s the same
😥. So keep up the prayers and positive thoughts coming my way if you can. I still need them🙂.November 29, 2017
I've gotten a lot of calls and messages checking on me today. Thank you to all my friends that are keeping tabs on me and saying prayers. I still have Bell's Palsy, it was 4 weeks on Sunday. At this point, I feel like I am going to be like this forever. Statistically, that shouldn't happen - I guess I'm just on an extended plan. I'm not in any pain anymore, but it's been a mental and emotional roller coaster and the best thing for healing is minimal stress (I think my stress level has been at a maximum!). I'm praying and trying now to stay calm and just let it be. It's hard for me, and I've had several breakdowns, but I've got to keep my head up. All your friendly and encouraging comments and prayers help! Thank you! 
January 6, 2018
10 weeks. Tomorrow is 10 weeks that I’ve had Bell’s Palsy. For something that affects such a small area of my body, it has had a maximum impact on me mentally. Being unable to control my face, show my expressions, show my emotions, is like nothing else. This is one of those things that you go through, you don’t know how you’ll react or how you’ll be, until you go through it. And it has affected every part of my life. I pray that no one I know will ever have to go through this.
If you don’t know what this is, from top to bottom, this is what Bell’s palsy is for me. The left side of my face is paralyzed, like a straight line down the middle of my face. Not numb, but paralyzed. Obviously, I can’t raise my left eyebrow and to be honest, because of that, my skin looks great! No lines or wrinkles at all! But even that isn’t a real plus because it’s only on one side. Then, my eye doesn’t blink. This is a real problem for people with Bell’s palsy because a dry eye can really mess up your eyesight long term. My eyesight is pretty blurry, but I’m getting used to that. My left eye is my camera eye, so I have been super diligent about putting drops in my eye during the day. And since I can’t close that eye, sleeping is kind of a mess. I have to wear a heavy mask to sleep to keep my eye shut. It slides off when I turn over and my eye pops open. It sucks to not be able to close your eyes whenever you want. I have trouble washing my face and showering because of soap in my eyes! My mouth is the the very worst part since I can’t smile or show any real, accurate emotion. I hate that I can’t smile at my kids or my husband. Smiling, laughing, even crying, just doesn’t look right with half a face. Eating is challenging, but another thing I’ve had to get used to. Food gets stuck on the left side, so I have to mostly chew on the right side. It’s just annoying.
I keep getting asked “What does the doctor say?” Well, the doctors (there have been several) say “Wait.” This is the hard part. Wrapping my brain around the fact that I can’t do anything. That’s not to say I haven’t tried! I have tried EVERYTHING. Everything that has been suggested to me, I have tried. I am not sitting here patiently waiting, I am crawling out of my skin trying and trying and looking and researching and asking anyone I can. All of these things I’ve tried - acupuncture, physical therapy, chiropractor, essential oils, vitamins, LED light therapy - the only thing that I can really get anything out of is going to my therapist and talking this out. Talking about how and why this has affected me so much and how to keep my perspective and my outlook in check. Fear and the unknown is a powerful thing. I could have this for another week, or maybe 6 months. Possibly longer, but after 6 months the stats go down.
I have been getting out a little more, mostly out of necessity, but if you see me, know that I want to smile at you. I want to show you that I am happy to see you. But I can’t. I am uncomfortable trying to smile, I know I look a little jacked up. I don’t want to look or sound like a ‘debbie downer’, it’s just all I can do right now. When this is all over, I don’t think I’ll stop smiling for a very long time!
Thanks for all the calls and texts and messages. I appreciate everyone checking on me and saying prayers. They are still needed!
If you don’t know what this is, from top to bottom, this is what Bell’s palsy is for me. The left side of my face is paralyzed, like a straight line down the middle of my face. Not numb, but paralyzed. Obviously, I can’t raise my left eyebrow and to be honest, because of that, my skin looks great! No lines or wrinkles at all! But even that isn’t a real plus because it’s only on one side. Then, my eye doesn’t blink. This is a real problem for people with Bell’s palsy because a dry eye can really mess up your eyesight long term. My eyesight is pretty blurry, but I’m getting used to that. My left eye is my camera eye, so I have been super diligent about putting drops in my eye during the day. And since I can’t close that eye, sleeping is kind of a mess. I have to wear a heavy mask to sleep to keep my eye shut. It slides off when I turn over and my eye pops open. It sucks to not be able to close your eyes whenever you want. I have trouble washing my face and showering because of soap in my eyes! My mouth is the the very worst part since I can’t smile or show any real, accurate emotion. I hate that I can’t smile at my kids or my husband. Smiling, laughing, even crying, just doesn’t look right with half a face. Eating is challenging, but another thing I’ve had to get used to. Food gets stuck on the left side, so I have to mostly chew on the right side. It’s just annoying.
I keep getting asked “What does the doctor say?” Well, the doctors (there have been several) say “Wait.” This is the hard part. Wrapping my brain around the fact that I can’t do anything. That’s not to say I haven’t tried! I have tried EVERYTHING. Everything that has been suggested to me, I have tried. I am not sitting here patiently waiting, I am crawling out of my skin trying and trying and looking and researching and asking anyone I can. All of these things I’ve tried - acupuncture, physical therapy, chiropractor, essential oils, vitamins, LED light therapy - the only thing that I can really get anything out of is going to my therapist and talking this out. Talking about how and why this has affected me so much and how to keep my perspective and my outlook in check. Fear and the unknown is a powerful thing. I could have this for another week, or maybe 6 months. Possibly longer, but after 6 months the stats go down.
I have been getting out a little more, mostly out of necessity, but if you see me, know that I want to smile at you. I want to show you that I am happy to see you. But I can’t. I am uncomfortable trying to smile, I know I look a little jacked up. I don’t want to look or sound like a ‘debbie downer’, it’s just all I can do right now. When this is all over, I don’t think I’ll stop smiling for a very long time!
Thanks for all the calls and texts and messages. I appreciate everyone checking on me and saying prayers. They are still needed!
January 7, 2018
So, after my post yesterday and the overwhelming support I feel from my Facebook friends, I want to clarify something important. While what I am going through really sucks and I totally hate it, my life is not threatened in any way by Bell's palsy. I know without a doubt, I will live through this. Even if I have to live like this forever, I will live. There are many people struggling with much more serious and scary health concerns and I am thankful that what I am going through just sucks. I'm thankful to have so many wonderful people praying for me and thankful for the knowledge that everything will be ok. Not all struggles come with that peace of mind and for that, I am lucky. Thank you Facebook friends for your love and support!
May 30, 2018
Bells Palsy update – 7 months with BP. 7 long months. I do have some recovery, and 2 weeks ago I finally went to a doctor’s appointment and got an answer! I have been told over and over again to “wait”😡. This time, she said, “Go see this person! You have Synkinesis and she can help you!” I almost hugged my doctor when she told me this😊! Basically, synkinesis is the nerves growing back (the facial nerve died when I got Bells Palsy and is now growing back), but they are not working right. Which I knew, because my eye closes when I open my mouth, when I close my eyes, my cheek moves, and so on. It is just not all working together correctly. I didn’t what was going on, just that things are moving. I was sure she was going to say the same old – “wait”, but I am so excited to see will be another physical therapist to help muscles and nerves re-learn how to work together! Yay! I couldn’t get an appointment right away, but I will be starting soon. Send me those positive thoughts and prayers that this helps! Thank you!!August 9, 2018
Yesterday, I asked my therapist how often he thinks the worst case scenario comes true. He just threw out a guess, but he said maybe 2% of the time, the worst actually comes true. I started my session with, "I am the 2%." For me, the worst case is permanence.
I’ve been wanting to share this, but haven't because it’s so big and personal to me. When my Bells Palsy journey started over 9 months ago, I openly shared it knowing it was a temporary thing. I just wanted my friends and family to know why I wasn’t around and what was going on with me. I had no idea it would be something I would need to update about multiple times. Now that school is starting and I’m seeing friends that I haven’t seen in a few months, I think I need to update again.
Basically, my doctor says I don’t actually have bells palsy anymore, but the damage done by the virus is permanent. The facial nerves died with bells palsy and what has recovered, is not recovering correctly. The nerves and muscle connections have recovered some, but are crossed. Once that happens, you cannot uncross them. This is the synkinesis that I updated about last time. It has taken a while for this to set in for me, and to be truly honest, I’m devastated.
When you see me, you may not notice right away and you might think I look fine. And I do. When you look at me, I know I look ok and it’s not that bad. You might think “what is she complaining about?" But the animation of my face is not good. It’s uncomfortable, I’m self-conscious every second of social interaction, and I’m just not completely “me”. The fact that I can’t smile is the hardest part. I have tried and cried every time I have taken a picture and then looked at it. It’s weird to look at your own self in a photo and be like “that’s what it is?!?! That’s what people see when I try to smile at them?!?” I don’t look happy, which is usually what I am feeling when I want to take a picture with people. Because I am happy. Overall, life is great. I have a wonderful family (really wonderful and so incredibly supportive), and I have really great friends. My kids are well and happy, and that makes me happy.
But, at 39 years old, you don’t expect to have your face change and have no idea what people see. When I watch myself on a FaceTime or see myself in a photo, I am really sad and surprised to see what you see. This is why taking a picture with family or friends is stressful. I do not refuse to take pictures because of a bad hair day, a pimple, I’m vain, or because I’m 10 pounds up. It’s because I don’t look 👀like I feel🙂. I can’t convey my emotions through my face. I don’t want to take a picture with my kids and look mad. I don’t want to look back on it and think I was miserable, or them think I was miserable, and know that I wasn’t.
🙂. I can’t convey my emotions through my face. I don’t want to take a picture with my kids and look mad. I don’t want to look back on it and think I was miserable, or them think I was miserable, and know that I wasn’t.
While the damage is permanent, I am working with a physical therapist to strengthen and retrain my face to work correctly. It will take months upon months, years probably. I hope to not look like I do today, forever, but I will be working on it constantly. What I want and pray for, is a smile
😀. I now know and understand the devastating news that I will not get my old smile back. But that won’t stop me from trying to get as close as I can. If any good can come of this, I can teach my kids to push on, right?
😀. I now know and understand the devastating news that I will not get my old smile back. But that won’t stop me from trying to get as close as I can. If any good can come of this, I can teach my kids to push on, right?
Thank you for the prayers said for me and concern you have shown me. I feel all the love!
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